THE DEFINITION OF HOMESCHOOLING or AFTERSCHOOLING IS NOT HOMESCHOOLING! (Please! Get it right!)

A friend told me recently that she is "homeschooling" her children after school. She told me they are doing something called "Afterschooling." I was taken aback by this revelation and believed her to be very confused.


Two weeks later, I was told by another parent, that they "homeschool during the summer." I gasped inside and probably, inadvertently, gave quite the scowl and indignant look.


I tried to recover my usual relaxed emotional state, however their comments....the very idea that they could even THINK that they are homeschooling...is beyond my ability to grasp. Their idea of what homeschooling is, is so flawed that I realized quite quickly that a definition for homeschooling is not only needed, it is demanded! I am here to set the record straight!

We don't "Do" Homeschool. We ARE Homeschoolers. Our children ARE homeschooled! Homeschooling is NOT done...It is Lived!!

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I will tell you right now that what those two parents are doing doesn't even belong in the same zip code as homeschooling. They may wish they were homeschoolers, but the reality is that they are not.


Is a homeschooler educated at home? Yes. Are all people who learn at home, homeschoolers? No. Because, homeschooling is a lifestyle.


HOMESCHOOLING: HOMESCHOOL: HOME SCHOOL:

Dictionary.com meaning: to teach one's children at home instead of sending them to school.

This is a nice beginning description but I must elaborate on this condensed, sterile definition.

Homeschooling is not only the act of teaching our child at home, but about the responsibilities parents and their family accept when we do not send them to a traditional school. We live a very different life than those who choose the traditional road. It begins with the choice to brave the legal hurtles and continues through the tears of worry and the triumphs of success. Homeschooling is about the road the entire family is traveling. We, as a Homeschooling Family, accepted the reality of our choices and live with the good, bad and the ugly that result from that choice.


There are some (not all) parents who blame the public school system when their child fails in a subject. There are some parents who take all the credit when their child succeeds. Homeschooling parents have only ourselves to blame either way.

We have the full weight of all the successes and failures on our shoulders; no matter what. ALL homeschooling parents have to carry this load. All of us. We can’t in any way, shape or form, be let off the hook. We are scrutinized more and judged more often than those who send their children to school. That is the lifestyle of a homeschooler.

The idea that my mother “homeschooled” me when she helped me with my homework is laughable, but there are some who believe that every parent who helps their child with homework is homeschooling. However, their children, unlike their wishful thinking parents, know whether they are homeschooled children or public/private schooled children.  If someone were to ask the kids where they go to school they would say, Roosevelt or wherever. A traditionally educated child knows they have to go to school, sit, learn, then come home and sit, learn more. 


To them, “homeschooling” may be a pain in the hiney because it’s above and beyond their “other” schooling lives.  It is supplemental to their “real” education. “Real” meaning the day long life they lead away from home; the reality of their educational lives. Until the child is actually homeschooled they know they are actually Public Schooled children or Private Schooled children. They live it. They are being educated at school and enduring yet more forced work as a "supplemental" education at home.

I can see how the idea of homeschooling full time would make some parents uneasy. I’ve been there. I’m thinking that maybe these baby steps are how they allow themselves to warm up to the idea of actually jumping into the home education world. It’s a process of sorts like…Maybe if they say to themselves, “Ah, see, I’m homeschooling right now as I help with homework so maybe I can teach a subject.” Then they buy a bible class or history curriculum and teach that after homework and say to themselves, “See now I’m actually teaching from a book so maybe I can go on and think about taking the kids out of school” Then they think, “ Oh my goodness, no I can’t do that, that’s crazy so maybe I’ll just do it during the summer” and then they see that they can do it during the summer so one day they all of the sudden feel empowered and jump! Voila! Process Complete!

All of those ways allow the parent to “homeschool” gently (in their mind) in their home while coming to terms with whether they are capable (in their minds) of homeschooling full time. I understand the want and even the need to say the words, “I’m homeschooling.” It becomes a familiar word that the parent can “own” so they can eventually create the reality in their home. However, while they may indeed be on the road to homeschooling, they are NOT a homeschooling family or even homeschooling at all.


In those instances the family is "playing house" if you will. They are pretending to homeschool. They are hoping to homeschool. They are going through the motions of the mechanics of homeschooing but they are not yet homeschooling. They don't know what it means, how it feels or how they will be treated when they ARE homeschooling. They won't know until they ARE a homeschooling family.
 
Are "afterschoolers" learning at home? Yes. Are they “Homeschooled Children?” No. They are Public or Private schooled children who have parents teaching them above and beyond their traditional schooling. Their parents are educating them, as any parent should, but they are not homeschooling. They are teaching them, reading to them, helping their children along with their lives. They are parenting. They are helping to supplement the education they've chosen for their children. That's it. That is a beautiful family choice and great parenting, but they are not homeschoolers and they are not homeschooling.

The difference between a homeschooler and a private/public educated child is that homeschooled children are living a different life than the average bear.  Homeschooled children are living their lives outside of an institutional setting. They do not sit in classrooms with a group of children and learn from a teacher. Homeschoolers learn at home, all the time….whether physically at home or on various outings…they are home. 


Their lives are completely different than a traditionally educated child. A homeschooled child knows that their lives are very, very different than a public/private schooled child. If you ask a homeschooler where they go to school they will say, "I AM homeschooled." They won't say, I homeschool! They ARE homeschoolers. Homeschooling is so much more than being tutored. It is more than having a parent sit with their child to teach. Parents who do this are wonderful parents…but they are not homeschooling parents. 


Homeschooling is about our lives as a family unit being untouched by the confines of those that would impose their rules on our family. We are able to move freely through our lives without checking our calendar to meet an institution time-table.  Homeschooling is a pronouncement of difference, acceptance and pride. Homeschooling is freedom! 


For a parent to say they are a homeschooler or are homeschooling, when they are sending their children to private or public school is unsettling to those of us who live the lifestyle because they are assuming that homeschooling is something that is done.They assume that our lives are not very different when, in fact, our lives are so very different. I am not saying we are better. I am, however, saying we are different. It is respectful to acknowledge that fact. 


We are educating our children, full time, without a safety net handily in place each day. We took on the responsibility and we deserve to claim the name of Homeschooler! We will NOT give that name to every parent who opens a book and reads to their child. We are so much more than that! We do that AND everything the school does for those wishful thinking parents. Until you do it ALL, you are NOT homeschooling...you are parenting.  Please, Acknowledge the difference.

Homeschooling is not done. It is lived!